re-defininition

when i started writing yesterday's post i had a different shape in mind for it. but as so often happens it had a life of its own and went its own way.

what i had wanted to say was that the friend who was living with terminal illness refuses to let it define her: she goes on courses to learn skills that she may not get the chance to practice, she brings people together who can enrich each others lives, she spreads positivity and energy in abundance. what i planned to say was that if someone facing such a challenge refuses to let something so huge define them, then i too can change how i define myself.

i wrote yesterday's post in my lunch hour at work. as i left work i received a text. it was from the woman i wrote about. she had been to her oncologist and been told that the tissue that had been thought to be lung cancer, therefore secondary tumours, hence the death sentence, was in fact much more likely to be scar tissue. this means that the cancer has not spread to her lungs. which in turn means she no longer has the figure in the hooded cloak in the corner every time she looks round.

my joy at this news was not just for her, and for her life, but for her little girls, who will no longer face growing up motherless. they will have a mum there when they start their periods, when they have their own babies, when they are hurt and when they are proud. they will have a mum to fight for them and cry for them and laugh with them. such a gift is beyond measure.

and she will redefine herself too. she may be able to slow down a little; take some pressure off herself. she has time now to do the things she wants to do. she is no longer defined by the prospect of an early death, but by having gone through that experience and come out of the other side, wiser and more alive than ever.